It’s not often that I think about my ex, but she’s on my mind today. Thinking about her is like this scene in (500) Days of Summer: the more I think about her, the more a memory shifts and changes into something different than I had originally remembered. Memory is funny like that.
At one point, I thought we were meant to be. I was 19 at the time it felt like the only type of love that existed was the forever kind. I realize now that we were meant to be only for a period of time. It was through the chaos and destruction of breaking up that I was able to really find myself. I had been trapped too long in the expectations she had of me and I never really considered what I wanted for myself. This is not to say theEx was a bad person in any way. In fact, we had a lot of good times together too. I’m just say that breaking up was inevitable and necessary for me to find myself.
We were together for nearly five years and even as I write this entry I’m having a hard time remembering her face. I mean, I have a general idea of what she looks like, but I can no longer remember why I thought she was so special (which I imagine she feels like when she thinks about me as well).
I am still trying to figure out what kind of blog this will be. I’ve had various blogs in the past–but I feel like the image people have of me from my old journal is not who I am now. If I were to write these things in my other journals, people might think it uncharacteristic of myself, so I figure the best thing would to just start again.
“I Won’t Make You Eggs in the Morning” is my response to those cheesy pick-up lines where someone slyly tells you that they make great breakfast food in hopes of getting in bed with you. I originally thought the scope of this blog would be limited to just my dating adventures, but I realize now that I’m so much more than that.
So this is my fresh start. Perhaps this is yours too.
45 minutes before Borders closed on a Wednesday night, I met Jaina in the music section somewhere between “RA” and “RE.” She was using the listening station next to me, tapping her foot to the newest Radiohead album. She looked as if she were in deep thought, biting her plump bottom lip and carefully reading the album summary in front of her. She was pretty, in a very normal way, with long wavy hair and a slender body. I reached for an album in front of her and pretended to read the tracklisting on the back. She turned to me and smiled politely.
I feel like I have to start this blog by saying I’m not the kind of person girls notice across the room. They don’t fawn over me while sipping drinks and they don’t fight with their friends over who will get my number. Girls don’t write sappy love songs about me nor do they angrily tear off stuffed animal heads and cry over me.
I’m dorky and a little socially awkward.
Girls like me after getting to know me…if I can convince them.
I Won’t Make You Eggs in the Morning is my response to all those cheesy pick-up lines you hear. Sometimes I go on a bad date and sometimes I’m the bad date.
I may not know a lot of things about dating, but I know I’ll never tell a girl I’ll make her eggs in the morning.
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