I didn’t see the Hot Mess’ text messages until Autumn and I were on the way to the airport. I had meant to text my co-worker again, but instead accidentally clicked on her name in my inbox.

Autumn was in the middle of telling me about a Greek restaurant in San Francisco she really loved and she knew I was distracted. “Is everything okay?” she asked, the car sluggishly moving through traffic.

“Yeah, of course,” I quickly answered. “Just texting my co-worker.”

The first text message just said: I miss you.

I avoided looking at the other two, exited out quickly, and then wrote to my co-worker that I’d meet him at the gate. “I’m sorry, you were saying?”

“No, nothing important. Just talking about a restaurant. Sorry there’s so much traffic. I hope you’re not too late.”

“Nah, it’ll be fine,” I assured her. “Plus, it was worth it.”

She smiled then and it lightened the mood in the car.  When we arrived at the airport, I could tell she didn’t know whether or not she should get out of the car. She hesitated at first, but then turned off the car, switched on her hazards lights, and met me on the passenger side while I pulled out my lumpy luggage.

I grabbed her hand and kissed it. “Thank you for everything,” I told her.

“Is it weird for me to want you to call later?” she asked. “Crap, don’t answer that. How embarrassing.” She shook her head, letting her hair cover her face.

“I’ll call you when I get in,” I told her. “I’ll be back in March or April to move and I hope we can get to know each other more. Does that sound weird?” I felt nervous, which made me say socially awkward things.

She wrapped her arms around me while I steadied my suitcase, then kissed her tenderly on the crown of her head. It was weird saying goodbye, especially to someone I barely knew and still felt connected to.

She kissed me on the lips, an affectionate peck, gave my shoulder a quick squeeze and waved goodbye.

I tried to memorize her face before I turned towards the check-in line, but she was already gone.

While waiting at the gate with my co-workers, I finally went through the Hot Mess’ messages.

The first message read: Are you up?

Followed by: Just saying hi.

And then the one I saw earlier: I miss you.

I skipped messaging her back. I decided I wouldn’t deal with her until I was back in Hawaii.

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3 Comments » Posted: December 15th 2009
Filed under: My Life is Strange
Tagged In: autumn, back from LA, goodbyes are always strange, LA adventures, the long flight home