More Than This
I always have the kind of dreams that are so real, I wake up confused in the morning. So, last night I dreamt about Linda (which strangely happens from time to time). We bumped into each other somewhere and while making small talk, she reached out to hold my hand. I pulled away, but I felt sad afterwards and when I woke up, the feeling carried over.
When I got to work, I went straight to my morning routine of Asacol (my stomach medicine) and facebook. By the way, I hate those stupid friend suggestions Facebook gives you. Half the time, I don’t know the person facebook is suggesting. Today, however, was not the case. I knew right away it was Linda. The same anti-internet, anti-facebook Linda, thumbnail-sized holding a cup of coffee, bundled up in the same winter coat she wore while we were in DC together, looking out at the water from the pier of some nameless not-Hawaii location. She wasn’t looking at the camera, which means someone else took it as a candid thinking it would be a nice picture of her. I nearly vomited on my keyboard.
And suddenly, thoughts of her push into thoughts of my own life and the dreams that were suffocated while we were together.
I’m wanting bigger things for my life. I’m bigger than this 9-5 routine. I’m bigger than SEO keywords and carefully marketed text. Through the blinds, I can see the sun peeking through on my desk.
I’m the words that used to move you. I’m the sentences you used to cut out and glue in your journal.
I need something more than this.
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