So this morning, I go on facebook to see a friend of mine’s status that reads, “LINDA [last name removed] FOR HAWAII STATE REP!!!” Of course there is only one Linda [last name removed] and the friend posted it is actually a mutual friend, so I shouldn’t be so shocked, but the news still threw [...]
I apologize for being MIA for the past week or so. Things have been really crazy around here. I just found out that I’ll be moving to California later next year for work. I guess working in porn really does pay because my boss offered to pay for all of my moving expenses if I [...]
I called up the Hot Mess last night in hopes of hanging out. For the past couple of weeks now, I haven’t been able to get her out of my head. “I’m still at work right now, but you should come by. We can go eat after,” she said. After we hung up, I got [...]
Lately I’ve been feeling like I’ve been seeing ghosts. The other day I was at Borders and from the corner of my eye, I thought I saw theEx walking through the fiction section. It’s not that I wanted to see her or anything, I just thought I did. But when I peeked over from where [...]
The Hot Mess called me this morning before my alarm woke me up. I answered the phone with that gross-just-woke-up voice I have and when I realized it was her, I immediately sat up. “What are you up to today?” she asked. “Nothing. Probably some writing. Why? What’s up?” “I’m stuck at home today. I [...]
I Won’t Make You Eggs in the Morning is my response to all those cheesy pick-up lines you hear. Sometimes I go on a bad date and sometimes I’m the bad date.
I may not know a lot of things about dating, but I know I’ll never tell a girl I’ll make her eggs in the morning.
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I'm friendly--feel free to email me at iwontmakeyoueggs@gmail.com!